From the recording Be Bold

"Up to You" is one of the most difficult and cathartic songs I've ever written. In 2009, after a lifetime of struggle, I finally admitted my truth to the world. "I'm gay." Some people already knew somehow. Some people didn't care, or were wonderfully supportive. And as is sadly the case with most people in similar stories, several of my closest relationships changed for the worst. I spent years trying to "kindle something [you] seem to abhor," trying to save our connection, even though "I hadn't changed a bit." To no avail. Through many hours of counseling, I realized that this expenditure of apparently hopeless energy was not healthy. Slowly, painfully, I began the process of releasing that negativity last year. And now, "it's up to you."

Lyrics

“Up to You”
Anton du Preez

Hello, it's me
I've been trying to reach you for what seems like an eternity
I may be different; you think it's wrong
But know that I have been here hurting all along
You won't accept me, no not the real me
You just want your favorite pieces but not the anomalies
I hope someday, you'll understand
Who I am

[Pre-Chorus]
Thoughts and feelings pour out of my heart
But you’re not listening; time to do your part

[Chorus]
I may be different; you think it's wrong
But I'm so tired of being the only one who sees what's going on
I’ve tried and tried to speak my mind
But my words just fall on deaf ears
Time to leave it all behind
It’s up to you; I’m tired of trying
It’s up to you; I’m done with crying
It’s up to you; There’s no denying
It’s up to you; I’m different and I love myself

So long for now
Cause this air is just too toxic, you won't see me anyhow
I may be different; you think it's wrong
But know that I have been here moving right along
No I don't need you, not anymore
Far too long I've tried to kindle something you seem to abhor
It's time for me to make my peace
And be free

[Repeat Pre-Chorus]
[Repeat Chorus]

Too late for comfort
When all the writing's on the wall
When you abandoned me
So many others made me tall
I'm still the same damn man
Who hasn't changed a bit, I just called out your shit
Now it's up to you to see me

[Repeat Chorus]